It seems that in my growing up in the North American church, Christianity was portrayed as a sort of fire insurance and once you ask Jesus into your heart you got your policy and were good. So what do we do now? Just sit around and wait for the trumpet to blast and ascend to the Father on a "white cloud pillow" strumming a harp (or in my case a telecaster).
This sort of philosophy was a huge frustration for me as it left a lot of questions unanswered. Do I pursue a career? Do I grow in my gifts and knowledge? Do I even start a family?
The ironic thing is that the very authorities in my life that told me that I just had to accept Jesus in my heart and look for the parting clouds..told me to get a "good education" and "plan for my future." There was that constant state of confusion as on one hand I was to "do something" with my life ,but subconsciously I would wonder why, because I was told it will all burn anyway. We will get entirely new bodies, probably won't be married to our current life partner and walk on streets of gold with the keys to our new mansion in hand. I read an interesting blog for Pastor Greg Boyd http://www.google.com/reader/view/feed/http%3A%2F%2Ffeeds2.feedburner.com%2Fgregboyd and it helped remind me of some other readings I've read from N.T. Wright (The Challenge of Jesus, The New Testament and the People of God) and Brian McClaren (Everything must Change), that our life here in this moment in time is a process, a place to work out who we are in the Kingdom. Below is and excerpt from Pastor Greg Boyd's blog that helped me a bit. It talks about purifying our lives in this stage here on earth and that there are no shortcuts:
"What I’ve tried to show in this post is that this purification is not optional and this judgment is not avoidable. Whatever is not completed now will have to be completed at the judgment seat of Christ – but again, it’s in our best interest to complete this process now.
We are all in training for the eternal Kingdom. Life is the school that prepares us for heaven. And, like it or not, we will not enter our eternal Sabbath rest until we’re ready to graduate. There simply are no short cuts, so we might as well start to enjoy the learning process."
In the last couple years I have "come awake" so to speak and have started shaking off some of the things I was taught and have started chewing on the things of God on my own. This also caused me to assess my life and beliefs. Essentially, I have spent a better part of my years waiting for the "trumpets to sound" so to speak. I have been waiting for the next "move of God." All the while gifts and time have gone by the wayside and depression of unfulfillment has ruled me. Well no longer. I am so excited to move on and begin or to some degree continue my purification process. This process isn't just ridding my life of "sin" but of becoming who I am too be. Letting go of the false doctrines and weird controls placed on me from a young age by well meaning church authorities. Learning to walk in the way of Christ, and understand his love for me and then give it back as intended. I was also created with a unique way of Worshipping our creator and sharing his love, which I am starting to feel are the same thing. I am also learning that we may be taking the portrait of "Heaven" to literally. Could heaven be the space in time that we finally just stop struggling and live in the peace that we have finally become what God intended us to be?
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Matt, it sounds like you are listening to that Voice which has been calling to you, to walk, and to move forward, past what you've known and into something fresh.
ReplyDeleteVery well-written... love the telecaster image :) I also totally agree w/ the line, "worshipping our creator and sharing his love..." are the same. I believe you're onto something on the last line, though, because throughout the Bible, peace is for those who "enter into his rest..." and judgement was for those who could not enter in to that place of rest... Which is interesting because entering into his rest comes before we can offer a drink to the least of these (both of which were pretty much the strongest language used in the Bible to determine who was one of God's children and who was not). In other words, you have to be resting in him, trusting his love/provision in order to give of what you have (or don't have) including, possibly your own life, to those in need (which is an act of worship and which he says ministers more to him than anything else). I haven't thought of these things in this way, before, but I think they definately are supposed to go together.
In the last paragraph, did you mean, "Letting go of the false doctrines..."?
That's all I have, for now. This really speaks to the deep place of my heart, where Jesus lives.
Love you so much!
Grace
Wow. I am truly processing what you've said. So much to think about. It really speaks to me. Do you remember a conversation we had several years ago (at Big City), when I made a comment about how I felt that we both had so much "color"/gifts to share with the world, but that they felt locked inside or hindered in part by distractions and confusion. Maybe it was because of the false pretenses we allowed to seep in and govern who we thought were or needed to become. Over the course of the past months, God has been speaking to me about 'leading where you are" or giving of what He has so readily and graciously placed in our hands. I think waiting for that next big move of God or opportunity to THEN figure it out or give of what you have only adds to the frustration and that God is asking us to BE where we are. Be Christ where we are and the ripple effect of His love and message will go forth. By allowing God to take us through our earthly process, we can support others in their process. Mmmmm. Lots to think about. It is so freeing though to lift of man's mantle of expectations and put on God's mantle of liberation. To just be in Him. To just be and know that He loves us. I am so proud of you. Live colorfully. Brooke
ReplyDeleteLove what you had to add Brooke..I remember very well the conversation we had at Big City. I was hoping to get a chance for conversation the last couple times you were visiting..oh well..maybe next time.
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